That's Fife, where a luxury self-catering break in the East Neuk revives all the family
The weather forecast had predicted persistent rain for the weekend, and just as we were warned, the sky turned ominously black the moment we crossed the Forth road bridge into Fife.
So not entirely the best start to a family get together.
In addition, my normally good-humoured partner Graham had suddenly lost his ability to understand my simple directions.
Safe to say, emotions were running high as we sojourned along the Kingdom of Fife's scenic coastal route, heading to our holiday cottage near Kingsbarns.
However, the B roads began to look spookily familiar, causing me to snap; "Have we been down this road before?", knowing full well the answer was almost certainly, yes.
Looking on the positive side, during our extensive circumnavigation of the area, we managed to take in several towns in the East Neuk. We glimpsed the charms of historic Anstruther through the car window.
In addition, we spotted the shell-decorated Buckie House, embellished in the 1840s by a local eccentric, Alex Batchelor. We even managed a whistle-stop tour of Cellardyke, before getting hopelessly lost and having to retrace our steps.
The irony of our journey was not lost on us when we happened upon the entrance to the Secret Bunker tourist attraction.
Luckily for us, it was closed for the season, so we didn't disappear completely without a trace. By this time our daughters, Eve and Hope, were all for giving up and driving home.
Eventually, we found ourselves outside the gatehouse lodge at Cambo House, which we knew to be near our journey's end.
Graham knocked desperately on the door, pleading with the kindly occupant to send us off on the right path. At last, we reached the holy grail of holiday accommodation, Morton of Pitmilly.
We had finally arrived, tired but in one piece. Luckily for us, my mother had arrived ahead of us, travelling from her Perthshire base with complete ease. She ushered us inside to the welcome smells of a home-cooked dinner. Bliss.
Thoroughly revived, we set about exploring every inch of our five-star luxurious, self-catering abode.
Three bedrooms, all with en-suites and complimentary toiletries were more than enough for our simple needs.
Every modern convenience is here, with a large open plan living space, and an outside patio area. Next morning, we dashed outside to explore. We were based in the steading development, near to the children's play area and a short walk from the swimming pool.
A traditional red-pantiled mill building disguises a dinky pool, which is ideal for a quick dip. Nearby are walking trails and even a purpose-built indoor tennis court.
Lessons are available so there's no excuse not to pack your tennis whites and racket and channel your inner Andy Murray. There is even an on-site spa room with beauty treatments for those holidaymakers in need of some extra pampering.
If there are golfers in your party, you may well lose them to the greens at the Kingsbarns Golf Links just down the road, or if they are lucky enough they might be teeing off at the Old Course in St Andrews.
However, if golf is not your bag, there are other activities close by. We headed to Upper Largo, to Chestertone Farm.
Graham volunteered to try clay pigeon shooting, whilst I headed for the highest vantage point to get my bearings. My reward from the summit of the nearby Largo Law, some 290 metres above sea level, were stunning views over the Firth of Forth.
I hasten to add, I was doing it the easy way on the back of a quad bike. I'm so lazy I even get driven when you can self-drive, and enjoy all the thrills and spills of the purpose-built track or head off-piste anywhere on the farmland.
No short break to coastal Fife would be complete without a fish tea from the award-winning Anstruther Fish Bar, which is so popular with visitors and locals alike, there is often a large snaking queue at peak times.
Luckily for us, we arrived ahead of the rush hour and managed to bag a table straight away.
The waitresses are effortlessly efficient. Orders are quickly taken and you can even find out which boat your catch is from via the Catch of the Day board.
Our delicious food was soon scoffed, washed down by cups of steaming tea.
As the sunset, we sauntered amongst the boats tied up in the harbour, serenaded by squawking seagulls.
It seems daylight makes for much easier navigation and the last stop on our weekend itinerary was the visitor centre at St Andrews Farmhouse Cheese Company at Falside Farm where the unpasteurised milk from the farm's Holstein Friesian herd is lovingly made into "Anster" cheese.
It was so tasty I'm sure I'll be able to find my way back next time.
For up to date prices and further information visit www.pitmilly.co.uk
This article first appeared in Scotsman Magazine 04/04/2015
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