Club together
Ladies at Muirfield," I guffawed, "not in my lifetime." But I was forced to change my tune following the recent vote in favour and decided that along with my girls, I'm overdue a golf refresher.
We are heading to Fife, the home of golf in Scotland. No, not the Old Course at St Andrews, but that must-visit destination for all Scottish putters, Adventure Golf Island, near Dunfermline.
I have persuaded my teen daughter Eve, her sisterHopeand our neighbour Joseph to head outside and get some fresh air.
Five years ago, as a nine-year-old golf prodigy, Eve soundly beat me on this very Lilliputian course, so perhaps the prospect of another public humiliation for her mother is the real reason she is happy to come along.
I have discovered the "first mini-golf course in the world" was probably the Ladies' Putting Club of St Andrews, which was founded in 1867 by some enlightened members of the notable Royal & Ancient Golf Club and was seen as quite ground-breaking in an age when it was deemed unacceptable for women to swing a club above shoulder height.
It is still open and is called "the Himalayas". The first miniature golf course stateside was "Thistledhu" and was owned by James Barber at Pinehurst Hotel, NorthCarolina.
Another leading light was Thomas McCulloch Fairbairn, a golf fanatic, who invented the first commercial artificial green.
This discovery meant that by the late 1920s there were more than 150 rooftop courses in New York City alone.
Fairbairn was also responsible for the addition of artificial bunkers, curves and water hazards, which led to the miniature golf boom of the 1920s.
It is still crazily popular today and who can resist the faded retro charm of a quick round?
Golf ball and putter in hand, we head out as a foursome on the Treasure Island course, and before long we are all into the swing of it.
There's a certain satisfaction to watching a small ball drop through a secret trap, before rolling slowly into the hole in one go.
Joseph enthusiastically chips the ball over a boulder and is reminded that we are putting, not driving.
Safe to say we are all showing TigerWoods' current lack of form. Due to our tardiness, we are keen to embrace the Royal and Ancient's proposed rule changes designed to speed up play.
We are also delighted by no penalties for ‘accidentally' moving your ball, as that seems to happen quite a lot on our outing.
We love the faster and more modern game, happy to adopt strokeplay, rather than stoically waiting until it is your turn.
Although all scores are of course rigorously and accurately noted on the scorecard. One youngster playing with her dad just behind us was employing a distinctly hockey-like technique on the fairway.
When asked how many strokes she had taken, she beams "one" modestly adding, ‘I'm good at golf."
Briefly held up behind a ladies team, we simply pick up our putters and jump a couple of holes ahead.
Eve then plays her ball to the next green, joining the folks playing ahead of our party. No harm was done and golf ball reclaimed, I'm confident we are breaching just about every line of golf etiquette in existence.
We head to the Pirates Cove course and never has a set of patio heaters and an overhead inflatable canopy seemed so attractive.
There is a sign emblazoned with one of the slogans of the course, "I'm a nutter with a putter," entirely truthful in our case.
One memorable hole features a water hazard, which claims Eve's ball, bringing to mindJean Vande Velde's memorable collapse at the Open Championship at Carnoustie in 1999.
Good humour is restored by the ingenuity of Hope and Joseph, who use two putters to rescue the missing ball from the drink.
In the interest of fairness, we scrap that particular hole before completing the round. Joseph says he had a "great time" before eagerly totting up the scores, declaring himself the winner.
Anything below 40 is above average and wonderboyJoseph and I slip into the distinctly average 50 plus point range, while my teenager simply raises an ironic eyebrow at her card.
"Well I will have clearly won," she says, "I've got the highest score."
If fun isn't enough reason to head outside and "hit the wee ball" here, at least the green fees aren't too eye-watering.
We are heading to Fife, the home of golf in Scotland. No, not the Old Course at St Andrews, but that must-visit destination for all Scottish putters, Adventure Golf Island, near Dunfermline.
I have persuaded my teen daughter Eve, her sisterHopeand our neighbour Joseph to head outside and get some fresh air.
Five years ago, as a nine-year-old golf prodigy, Eve soundly beat me on this very Lilliputian course, so perhaps the prospect of another public humiliation for her mother is the real reason she is happy to come along.
I have discovered the "first mini-golf course in the world" was probably the Ladies' Putting Club of St Andrews, which was founded in 1867 by some enlightened members of the notable Royal & Ancient Golf Club and was seen as quite ground-breaking in an age when it was deemed unacceptable for women to swing a club above shoulder height.
It is still open and is called "the Himalayas". The first miniature golf course stateside was "Thistledhu" and was owned by James Barber at Pinehurst Hotel, NorthCarolina.
Another leading light was Thomas McCulloch Fairbairn, a golf fanatic, who invented the first commercial artificial green.
This discovery meant that by the late 1920s there were more than 150 rooftop courses in New York City alone.
Fairbairn was also responsible for the addition of artificial bunkers, curves and water hazards, which led to the miniature golf boom of the 1920s.
It is still crazily popular today and who can resist the faded retro charm of a quick round?
Golf ball and putter in hand, we head out as a foursome on the Treasure Island course, and before long we are all into the swing of it.
There's a certain satisfaction to watching a small ball drop through a secret trap, before rolling slowly into the hole in one go.
Joseph enthusiastically chips the ball over a boulder and is reminded that we are putting, not driving.
Safe to say we are all showing TigerWoods' current lack of form. Due to our tardiness, we are keen to embrace the Royal and Ancient's proposed rule changes designed to speed up play.
We are also delighted by no penalties for ‘accidentally' moving your ball, as that seems to happen quite a lot on our outing.
We love the faster and more modern game, happy to adopt strokeplay, rather than stoically waiting until it is your turn.
Although all scores are of course rigorously and accurately noted on the scorecard. One youngster playing with her dad just behind us was employing a distinctly hockey-like technique on the fairway.
When asked how many strokes she had taken, she beams "one" modestly adding, ‘I'm good at golf."
Briefly held up behind a ladies team, we simply pick up our putters and jump a couple of holes ahead.
Eve then plays her ball to the next green, joining the folks playing ahead of our party. No harm was done and golf ball reclaimed, I'm confident we are breaching just about every line of golf etiquette in existence.
We head to the Pirates Cove course and never has a set of patio heaters and an overhead inflatable canopy seemed so attractive.
There is a sign emblazoned with one of the slogans of the course, "I'm a nutter with a putter," entirely truthful in our case.
One memorable hole features a water hazard, which claims Eve's ball, bringing to mindJean Vande Velde's memorable collapse at the Open Championship at Carnoustie in 1999.
Good humour is restored by the ingenuity of Hope and Joseph, who use two putters to rescue the missing ball from the drink.
In the interest of fairness, we scrap that particular hole before completing the round. Joseph says he had a "great time" before eagerly totting up the scores, declaring himself the winner.
Anything below 40 is above average and wonderboyJoseph and I slip into the distinctly average 50 plus point range, while my teenager simply raises an ironic eyebrow at her card.
"Well I will have clearly won," she says, "I've got the highest score."
If fun isn't enough reason to head outside and "hit the wee ball" here, at least the green fees aren't too eye-watering.
A family ticket (2 adults 2children/1 adult 3children) to play one course costs £24. Pay an extra £14 to play both courses. Individual adult and child tickets also available, see www. adventure-golf-island.com
This article first appeared in Scotsman Magazine 17/06/2017
This article first appeared in Scotsman Magazine 17/06/2017
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